Last Day Callers! 8/31

Yesterday, on Cliff Hanger!

Mike Jenkins, the Zombie with a heart of gold, kicked open the door for her, and his leg fell off, out of the car, which ran over it. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to eat you, I’m almost all gone.” Mark stopped the car. She didn’t have time to think how odd and misplaced that sounded. She was reeling from all of the Girl Friend Beers she had had, from the man she had thought she killed. How many of her other husbands were after her now? As the golden car plunged from the cliff into the raging sea below, she heard him exclaim as he flew out of sight: “I knew your father!” How did he know her father? Had he really said that? He had.

Call 323-843-4652 for InPhoneTainment now through August 31st, 2012! Click the image above to find the song of the day.

InPhoneTainment Ends Tomorrow! 8/30

Yesterday, on Cliff Hanger!

Mergatroy had definitely noticed something strange about Mark, and as his eyebrow slid down his cheek, he stopped the car, and grunted,. “I’m a Zombie and I love you,” he said. “Unfortunately, I am eating myself alive, from the inside. It was a Gov’t program gone wrong - it just got out of hand,” he said as his hand fell off, gesturing at the Zombie crowd. “I asked for early retirement but it didn’t work, so now I’m going to try and kill myself” As his ear slid down his arm, he said “I’ve found someone for you from your past, he’ll take good care of you.” What? A Zombie with a Heart?

Call 323-843-4652 for InPhoneTainment now through August 31st, 2012! Click the image above to find the song of the day.

InPhoneTainment...Love It!! 8/29

Yesterday, on Cliff Hanger!

She had had too many Girl Friend Beers and the Trouble was on her tail like Zombies from Café Le Zombie. Actually, they were Zombies, and they were actually after her. Mergatroy noticed that Mark Jenkins’s skin didn’t look right, green and yellow in some places, small flaps of skin in others. She had not even time to think of a way out, and it was too late. They had found her. Sometimes retirement is thrust upon you. How could he be alive? The car lurched forward. He growled a little then said “Your fake remains are in the trunk, and you’ll jump out before we get to the cliff. I was originally sent to terminate your data, but I pulled rank on the bastards.” His eyelid slumped like a hammock. “You may have noticed something strange about me.” She had. Was this really happening? It was.

Call 323-843-4652 for InPhoneTainment now through August 31st, 2012! Click the image above to find the song of the day.

Total Enjoyment. InPhoneTainment! 8/28

Yesterday, on Cliff Hanger!

Driving the car was Mark Jenkins, her last husband, the man she had shot in the heart just days before. He said: “They’re going to retire you. They knew you were ready to go. We don’t have much time, you have to get in.” She looked at Mark, and back at the Zombie mass about to swarm around the car. Beside Mark Jenkins was a stuffed cat that looked a lot like Massachusetts. He opened the door for her and motioned her inside. There was a black SUV across the street. “You can trust me Mergatroy. I don’t know how much you know about the Smart Zombie program, but the guys at the top think it’s too much” She looked at the black SUV. He said: “Get in. You have to trust me.”

Call 323-843-4652 for InPhoneTainment now through August 31st, 2012! Click the image above to find the song of the day.

InPhoneTainment Takes Off! 8/27

Yesterday, on Cliff Hanger!

The clientele at Café Le Zombie had begun scooching in around her, so she left the café and the dwindling day while she clutched her handgun tightly in her purse. As she got up to leave, it seemed that the entire Café Le Zombie had risen to follow her. Just then a golden car sped around the corner, uprooting umbrella and vegetable stands, destroying empty tables. Vegetables rained down from the sky. The golden car whacked a walker away from an elderly man, who turned and walked away without it. Mergatroy began running. Her phone began to ring again. The golden car pulled up beside her. There were about 20 men following her on foot, ominously. Café Le Zombie was following her

Call 323-843-4652 for InPhoneTainment now through August 31st, 2012! Click the image above to find the song of the day.

This is a Telephone. And This is InPhoneTainment! 8/26

Yesterday, on Cliff Hanger!

She decided to answer the phone. If her answering would be her undoing, then so be it. The voice on the other line just said “Mur”. She couldn’t speak. Her eyes took on the look of a beach front window after a storm had passed. The voice on the other end of the line was muffled and said “Mur” again. She knocked her Girl Friend Beer brand pint glass onto the café sidewalk and it shattered like a glass on concrete. Were they speaking her name? Was it Murder? There was a gurgling, then the line went dead.

Call 323-843-4652 for InPhoneTainment now through August 31st, 2012! Click the image above to find the song of the day.

InPhoneTainment - You've got to Hear it! 8/25

Yesterday, on Cliff Hanger!

Mergatroy realized the ringing phone was hers and took the phone from her purse and carefully placed it on the table like a rattled tarantula in a clear box. No one had this number. She had only picked it up for emergencies, only to call out from, one of those International Cell Phones. And she had left Massachusetts in Maine along with her phone. She had used her own source of phony IDs and passports. No one knew she was in France, she had made sure of that. There’s no way they could be onto her so quickly. She thought she would have more time to make her next move. It was like immanent death on the other end of the line. It was the end of the line and Mergatroy was frozen. It could be a wrong number, but they were certainly were persistent. Like a Zombie.

Call 323-843-4652 for InPhoneTainment now through August 31st, 2012! Click the image above to find the song of the day.

Use Your Phone as a Phone! Call InPhoneTainment Today! 8/24

Yesterday, on Cliff Hanger!

Mergatroy longed for his rough, giant hands on her. The manly hands of Cliff Hanger: Calloused farmer hands, roughing her up. They interrogated each other into the night, spilling secrets, confessing, guilty as sin. She was tired of these old government hands, too misguided and fumbling, weak and pasty like unfed catfish. She longed for fingers with a purpose, arms strong like a holding cell to keep her, the musky scent that would draw her in, and a gentle roughness that would send her out again. The moon controlling a wild sea that crashed against the rough rocks of shore. She was the ocean of turmoil, he was rock-hard and waiting, she was the Navy seal, he was the target. Cliff Hanger was out there somewhere…

Call 323-843-4652 for InPhoneTainment now through August 31st, 2012! Click the image above to find the song of the day.

InPhoneTainment: Easy as 1-2-3-4! 8/23

Yesterday, on Cliff Hanger!

The face of Dick King would come to her in dreams. The original A*hole, the only man that she ever retired to a vegetable ward. There was always something about his eyes, his face, that she couldn’t place. Like a dream you keep having and always forget. And she was always grateful they never made love, but she always regretted not just retiring him fully with one blast to the cob, right between the eyes. He was still alive and drooling in South Poughkeepsie. It was haunting. It was something they could hold over her. Another reason she would be retired. Another reason for another Girl Friend Beer.

Call 323-843-4652 for InPhoneTainment now through August 31st, 2012! Click the image above to find the song of the day.

InPhoneTainment is Here For You! 8/22

Yesterday, on Cliff Hanger!

It was times like these that Mergatroy thought of Cliff Hanger. Of their time before this secret life, before she married and retired men for her government. At least Mergatroy had fallen in love before her life had gotten complicated and secret-at least she had that, some people never found it. But then it was over. Her new job was to fall in love, marry, give them 6 good and happy months, kill them, take the cat, and leave. Cliff was gone from her life, and she was a sea in turmoil without a good hard rock to crash against, a frictionless current forever moving, achingly.

Call 323-843-4652 for InPhoneTainment now through August 31st, 2012! Click the image above to find the song of the day.

InPhoneTainment Awaits You! 8/21

Yesterday, on Cliff Hanger!

Mergatroy had killed some nice men. Some real A*holes, too. But the worse they were, the worse they got it. The worst was Dick King. He was a mean drunk, but not in a physical way - “I might love you if you were dead” he was fond of saying to her, without a smile, with his hollow eyes like caves of no return. She’d prefer a sock in the eye any day to that crap. The retirement assignments generally lasted about 6 months, but she killed him early, and shot him wrong. They were always set up as suicides, one blast in the cob, and she made sure to bungle that one. She might love him if he were dead, but he was a vegetable somewhere in South Poughkeepsie. She was always grateful they had never so much as kissed.

Call 323-843-4652 for InPhoneTainment now through August 31st, 2012! Click the image above to find the song of the day.

InPhoneTainmet is just a Phone Call Away! 8/20

Yesterday, on Cliff Hanger!

The thought had crossed Mergatroy’s mind many times. Would she herself be retired. Did she know too much? Was she too far in? Too far up the knowledge ladder? Would she one day be killed? Yes, all she did was terminate data, retire men who know too much, but wasn’t that enough? Mergatroy was becoming too old for her position – the old guys wanted them younger than her, which was fine with Mergatroy: How many men could you marry and kill? The cool Girl Friend Beer kissed her lips and filled her with ecstasy. If this was her last day on earth, would she be happy? She decided no.

Call 323-843-4652 for InPhoneTainment now through August 31st, 2012! Click the image above to find the song of the day.

Escape! With InPhoneTainment 8/19

Yesterday, on Cliff Hanger!

Mergatroy numbly ran her thumb across her mouth like she had seen a man do in an old French movie. Bordeaux was the only place she had ever been truly happy, before she had officially joined the Till Death Us Do Part Department program and began retiring government officials. She had been here with Cliff, the only man who could tie her up tight, her rock, her only true love, a sturdy natural monument she could wash up against over and over, a holster for her gun, yet a memory that only contained questions and buried hopes. She fondled the Girl Friend Beer coaster in her hand and took another sip of Girl Friend Beer. This was the same café, but they had changed the name to Café Le Zombie, and the clientele had changed as well. In the fading light, they all looked a little like Zombies, and they all looked a little at her.

Call 323-843-4652 for InPhoneTainment now through August 31st, 2012! Click the image above to find the song of the day.

Escape with InPhoneTainment! 8/18

Yesterday, on Cliff Hanger!

Massachusetts was in Maine. She had left him there. The white cat was chipped with a communication device and she always took him with her, it was protocol, it was in the handbook. The first Massachusetts had died accidentally in Connecticut, and she’d had to remove the chip with a fork: it was not pleasant. Mergatroy had found the new cat in Vermont so she named it Massachusetts out of respect and they moved from New Hampshire to Maine. So Mergatroy had left Massachusetts with Mark Jenkins. It was never Murder – they called them “Fully Retired” when they were dead. She’d shot him in the heart – his skin had started looking strange, he had begun grunting, his eyes vacant as a homeless zombie. She loosened the strap of her watch band and massaged the skin on her wrist, touching her black widow tattoo hoping she would not be fully retired...

Call 323-843-4652 for InPhoneTainment now through August 31st, 2012! Click the image above to find the song of the day.

Find InPhoneTainment at 323-843-4652! 8/17

Yesterday, on Cliff Hanger!

Mergatroy just needed to think, but there was no way out that she could see. There was no safe answer. She’d gone too far. Mergatroy was in France, and Massachusetts was in Maine, a major breech of protocol, a major misreading of the handbook. Never leave the cat behind. The cat is tomorrow’s mission. Even if Mergatroy went back, it would only be a matter of time. And if she ran, they would find her. They would kill her either way. It was in the handbook. It was protocol. But for the first time in years, she felt free, far away from the Zombie lifestyle and the irony that she sat and drank in Café Le Zombie was not lost on her one bit.

Call 323-843-4652 for InPhoneTainment now through August 31st, 2012! Click the image above to find the song of the day.

Send your Ears to Camp! It's InPhoneTainment! 8/16

Yesterday, on Cliff Hanger!

Mergatroy had known love. Once. His steel eyes were gun metal blue, his jaw was sexy like a sturdy hard rock at the ocean’s edge. His name was Cliff and his firm hands were always so well placed. Even when he was wrong, he was alright. “The sun’s shining on somebody, baby” he would always say” – it was actually his favorite thing to say to someone before he shot them. God, that turned her on. And the laughter: there was always laughter and GFB. They both loved their GFB. Her mom always said: never trust a mean drunk. The only thing mean about Cliff Hanger was that he left suddenly. And that was that.

Call 323-843-4652 for InPhoneTainment now through August 31st, 2012! Click the image above to find the song of the day.

For a Good Time, Call 323-843-4652 for In-Phone-Tainment! 8/15

Yesterday, on Cliff Hanger!

The phone was still ringing and her Girl Friend Beer was frosty and sweating, her 4th Girl Friend today, and she knew it would bring trouble. The 4th Girl Friend always does. The phone continued to ring. She looked at her tattoo she had gotten after one too many Girl Friend Beers…what was that slogan of theirs? Oh yes, One Too Many Girl Friends can kill you. They didn’t kill her, but she had woken up with a black widow on her wrist. It was black and shiny like the real thing and it stung like hell. At least she had the foresight to get it in a place that can be hidden, underneath her watch band. The phone still rang. Business at “Café Le Zombie” was picking up and she couldn’t help but think how much they resembled Zombies, how many of them reminded her of the husbands she had killed.

Call 323-843-4652 for InPhoneTainment now through August 31st, 2012! Click the image above to find the song of the day.

In-Phone-Tainment for your Listening Pleasure 8/14

Yesterday, on Cliff Hanger!

The lie she told the men she ‘retired’ when they asked about her Black Widow tattoo generally went something like this: Her mom had stepped on a nest of them and it killed her, slowly, and Mergatroy had gotten a tattoo to remember her mother by. In truth, her mom was struck and killed instantly by a Student Driver, which wasn’t too far off the lie if you stop and think about it. Mergatroy had just turned 16 at the time, and she never learned to drive after that. She never knew her father.

Call 323-843-4652 for InPhoneTainment now through August 31st, 2012! Click the image above to find the song of the day.

Pick up the Phone - It's In-Phone-Tainment! 8/13

Yesterday, on Cliff Hanger!

Mark Jenkins was Mergatroy’s final husband. He had asked Mergatroy about her tattoo – the black widow – it was the only one she had, the only one she’d ever get. A black widow on the small of her wrist. Mergatroy didn’t tell Mark the lie she told the others. Mergatroy was tired of lying. “Wouldn’t you like to know” she had said with a twinkle in her eye, and engines were revved, fires were lit. They fired some guns and hit some targets and she became the ocean and crashed against his rock hard shoreline.

Call 323-843-4652 for InPhoneTainment now through August 31st, 2012! Click the image above to find the song of the day.

Amy Radio's on the Phone! 8/12

Yesterday, on Cliff Hanger!

Cut to Right Now: Mergatroy’s phone rings but she doesn’t recognize the ringing. The fear of being found and retired has washed over her- she can’t hear anything right now. She was a high ranking member of T-Dud-PD, the Till Death Us Do Part Department, it was right in the name, how can she have been so stupid, what did she expect, she thinks to herself. She sips her third Girl Friend Beer of the afternoon and knows there is bound to be trouble; there always is trouble after 3 Girl Friends. Her phone rings again. The man sitting at the edge of the café reminds her of her 4th husband, but it couldn’t be. She killed him 13 years ago. If the Smart Zombie Program was real, had her husbands all been Zombies, had they ever really died? Perhaps Café Le Zombie was not a good choice to drink away her troubles.

Call 323-843-4652 for InPhoneTainment now through August 31st, 2012! Click the image above to find the song of the day.

Call 323-843-4652 for In-Phone-Tainment! 8/11

Yesterday, on Cliff Hanger!

It was simple really: those near the top knew too much about those on the top, who knew everything. And when those near the top retire, it’s important they don’t get any funny ideas like writing books or speaking to the press, at least that’s what she was always told. Mergatroy had been culled from the nation’s best Hospitality program, a government front, set up to find secret agents with certain skills - like generosity, courtesy, a well placed bullet and plenty of amenities. Mergatroy liked her job, she was good at it. It wasn’t long before Mergatroy realized that those near the top that she was hired to retire didn’t know their retirement package included the manual termination of their life. As her handbook stated, she was terminating data, not people. She’d had enough killing, she’d be their Zombie no more.

Call 323-843-4652 for InPhoneTainment now through August 31st, 2012! Click the image above to find the song of the day.

In-Phone-Tainment: It's your Call! 8/10

Yesterday, on Cliff Hanger!

Mark Jenkins had been to retirement parties before, and the retirees with their golden watches and fresh brides or husbands were always glowing. And they always got a mate for retirement and they were never heard of again. Lonely years in the secret halls of the government basement never left time for real life or love, but the government had a great benefits package, and he was ready for the bennies. He would do little things like hold the door open for Mergatroy, buy her flowers, massage her feet. But he had asked for it, he had put in for his retirement early. And that’s what he got. His health was failing, it was plain to see.

Call 323-843-4652 for InPhoneTainment now through August 31st, 2012! Click the image above to find the song of the day.

InPhoneTainment - It's in your Phone! 8/9

Yesterday, on Cliff Hanger!

Mergatroy just shot her last husband, a government man named Mark. She had had enough of the forced killings. They were always Mark whether they knew it or not. It was funny that that was actually his name. Mark. Mark. A mark in time, marked for death. He was a nice guy, but he had asked for it. Mark Jenkins had had enough of the government secrets and the men at the top and he wanted out before it killed him, which meant the retirement plan. But he looked like he was dying anyway, so she just shot him in the heart – that was NOT in the handbook, definitely not protocol. But Mark was nice enough and she had had enough. Screw it, Mergatroy thought, and ordered another GFB. She was finished with playing the part of the Zombie, let them come after her if they needed to.

Call 323-843-4652 for InPhoneTainment now through August 31st, 2012! Click the image above to find the song of the day.

Hello? It's InPhoneTainment! 8/8

Yesterday, on Cliff Hanger!

Mergatroy had heard rumors at the office about the Zombie program, but people would always clam up when they saw her. They called it Smart ZP Top Secret and they never said the word Zombie, but they made the faces. Mergatroy sometimes wondered if the men she retired knew anything about that program or how involved they were. If it was even real, how close was she to it without her knowing? How far can a loyalty go to become a Zombie for those you serve? She had married 29 men, and had fully retired 28 of them, shooting each one after 6 months, one blast to the cob. If Zombies were real, they weren’t like in the movies. Maybe she was one and that’s why she had to get out. To control her own destiny was worth just a day if that’s all she had. That and a Girl Friend Beer.

Call 323-843-4652 for InPhoneTainment now through August 31st, 2012! Click the image above to find the song of the day.

InPhoneTainmet! Call Now! 8/7

Yesterday, on Cliff Hanger!

Mergatroy had put in for a leave of absence after she had requested to be transferred from the Till Death Us Do Part Department (T-DUD-PD). She wasn’t thinking - too wrapped up in the emotional drawbacks of having to kill her last husband Mark and then she had left him in Maine with Massachusetts. She cracked, now they would crack her like an egg. Now her life was up to them: They might give her a retirement package with out the wedding, just the coffin part. Though she was seated at the out door café “Le Zombie” it was strange to her that there were men there that looked a little Zombie-esque…was she cracking up?

Call 323-843-4652 for InPhoneTainment now through August 31st, 2012! Click the image above to find the song of the day.

InPhoneTainment is on the Line! 8/6

Call 323-843-4652 for InPhoneTainment now through August 31st, 2012!

Yesterday, on Cliff Hanger!

Mergatroy was a killer who had retired her last, but her disappearance might just get her killed. How could she have been so stupid? Would they have her retired? Her hair was tied up tight and chestnut. She wore a smart white shirt and a dark grey skirt of Moreno wool. Her sunglasses covered her green eyes but her freckles sparkled like stars on her sand colored cheeks. She sat and debated ordering another Girl Friend Beer, the existence of zombies, possible food and the rest of her life, what little of it there may be left. She was tired of killing people, it was killing her. She missed Massachusetts, who was still in Maine, and wondered what he was doing.

Call 323-843-4652 for In-Phone-Tainment! 8/5

Yesterday, on Cliff Hanger!

"Mergatroy sat out side the Café Le Zombie and sipped from her cool frosty Girl Friend beer. Mergatroy never liked her name. It sounded like a plant disease or a cartoon destination. Mergatroy. Mergatroy. She sipped from her cool frosty Girl Friend beer and listened to a couple behind her speaking French, she couldn’t help but think that they looked a little like zombies. It was her mother Merga and her father Troy who could not agree on naming her in the hospital, so the nurse decided for them. She considered changing it later in life, but she could never settle on a name and by that point it was too late. No one knew her real name anyway."

Hold the Phone! It's In-Phone-Tainment! 8/4

Call 323-843-4652 for InPhoneTainment now through August 31st, 2012! Click the image above to find the song of the day.

Amy Radio's INphoneTAINMENT is on the Line!

Starting Friday August 3rd through Friday August 31st, call 323-843-4652 EVERY DAY for Amy Radio and In-Phone-Tainment! You'll have to hear it to believe it!!